Yemek yemekle mutlu olamayacagimi coktan kabullenmis ruhum, bunun yeni farkina vardim. Bugun. Yasadigim onca seyden sonra yemek yemek benim icin artik gun icerisinde gerceklestigim her eylemden biraz daha anlamsiz hale gelmis durumda. Onca yeme bozukluklardan, onca kitliktaymiscasina az yemelerden, onca bogulurcasina cok yemelerden, onca kusmalardan, onca alinan istah acici ve kapayici haplardan sonra karnimi doyurmam veyahut bazen sadece zevk vermesi icin bana sunulan her yiyecek bir lastik veyahut bir iplik gibi anlamsiz. Sahip oldugum bir gucu kayip mi ettim yoksa yeni bir guc mu kazandim? Guc olgusunu bu absurditenin icinde var etmeye calismak yine esit derece manasiz. Yoruldum. Vucudumu, agzimi, dilimi, dislerimi, yemek borumu cok yordum. Hepsinin teker teker yorgunlugunu hissediyorum. Karın kaslarimi, midemi, yanlarimi. Varolmak bu gece yine cok fazla.
Posted May 26, 2012 at 12:13am
” I’ll change my hair but inside I’ll stay the same
Michael Michael Michael
I’ll draw my lips around my lipstick
My feet are dancing so much and I hate that
My feet are dancing so much “
I feel regretful that I didn’t shared this before. It is not the video I want to share but the song basically. I loved this song since I’ve discovered the album Tender Buttons by Broadcast in 2007. I loved the melody, the tunes, the voice and most of all the lyrics. I was quite sadly shocked when lead singer Trish Keenan died in 2011. I am now sadder in a strange way. Probably that I’ve learned about her death of cause. It was pneumonia which took her at a relatively early age. I can imagine how she suffered terribly from it from my experiences. I had pneumonia when I was 7, I remember how it lasted for months and I couldn’t go to school due to my hospitalization. I had some bitter sweet memories with cancer kid friends, my heart broke when I knew they were terminally ill.
I am so sorry. So sorry Broadcast. You were all beautiful. You deserve beautiful things. May Trish rest in peace.
Posted May 23, 2012 at 7:34pm
Q
your pictures from flickr are all over tumblr with like thousands of notes, did you know that?
from:Anonymous
A
Yes, I’ve noticed that a while a ago. I don’t know how it started though… As long as they give me credit it’s fine for me.
Posted May 21, 2012 at 10:39am
